It isn`t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.

Men want what they can’t have.

Fact.

Which pretty much puts them in the same category as children. Which is a whole other topic I will eventually get to.

Just not today.

Because I’m about to talk about sex and it makes me feel dirty inside talking about children and sex in the same post.

Wow, this just got really awkward.

Moving on.

Men like sex.

Another fact.

I have a feeling if it were up to them they would be able to spend their days sitting on the couch in their underwear, watching sports, with a beer in one hand and a boob in the other. And the only energy they would ever exert would be getting their penis out of their boxer shorts and into the closest woman possible.

Why do I feel like I just summed up my last relationship?

Have you ever noticed that you mention to word “sex” and a man can literally stop before you get the entire word out and you can have his full and undivided attention?

Which is pretty much the only time you will ever has his undivided attention.

I used to judge other women when they would talk about using sex as leverage in their relationships.

You know, because that isn’t what you should be doing in a meaningful and healthy relationship.

That was until one time I walked in on a boyfriend jerking off to what I’m pretty sure was porn involving animals and realized that there is no such thing as “meaningful and healthy”.

Now, all I think about is what I could get in return for sex.

And I know what you are thinking, but it’s totally not the same as prostitution.

Okay, maybe a little.

Don’t judge me.

Fuck.

Now all I can think about is animal porn and prostitution.

That and it’s probably time for me to raise my standards a little.

My wildly smart and insanely humorous post about men wanting what they can’t have will have to wait.

I know, I’m just one big disappointment.