It has come to my attention that either men are stupid or men think we are stupid.
Alright, it's both. But in honor of me being well, a women i'll have to say that women are at least a little smarter.
But sadly, not by much.
Anyway... I have heard a lot of bull shit from men in my day. More than I care to ever hear in a lifetime.
This one might be my favorite:
I was talking a guy once while in Vegas. We were having a fairly normal conversation. He was being flirtatious and I was making fun of him via sarcasm, which he of course wasn't catching onto. I noticed about halfway through the conversation that he had a wedding ring on. So I asked him how long he had been married.
I watched as that little bit of brain he had was working overtime to figure out a lie that I would believe. Here is what he came up with...
"Oh, I'm not married I just put this on when I come to Vegas to avoid getting hit on".
Go ahead and take a moment to laugh at that. Because I know I did after he said it.
Oh yes, because when a man comes to vegas he is just dying to pop on that wedding ring in order to avoid women. Makes total sense.
I mean, really? Of all the things he could have said, he chose that.
Separated.
Going through a divorce.
Widowed.
My fingers are too fat to get the ring off.
What are you talking about, there isn't a ring on my finger.
^ All the things that he could have said that I would have been more believable.
Best part, he was a lawyer. Clearly not a good one.
First of all dude, you aren't that good looking and I have a feeling there has never been a time in your life that you were beating women off with a stick.
Second, you're a fucking idiot.
Third, well... I think my second point pretty much summed it all up.
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