They keep saying the right person will come along. I think mine got hit by a truck.

I once hooked up with guy who laughed like a bird. Like, constricted neck, head tilted up, full on bird laugh.

Not one of my proudest moments. 

So we were fooling around and he just kept repeating "yeaa girl" "yeaaaaa girl". At first I didn't think much of it. But he just kept repeating it. 

over and over and over again. 

I mean, what the fuck dude? Do you think that's what girls want to hear? Or did you forget my name?

Even though replacing "girl" with my name is just as creepy. 

It got to the point where I was having to hold back from laughing. So for his sake I stopped him about halfway through and told him I was really tired. Figured he would get the hint. 

Next morning, I was awoken by him rubbing his crotch into my butt.

Clearly he did not get the hint the night before.

So I did what any normal girl would do, I told him I had to go to the bathroom and hid in my roommates bed until he left. 

The next time I saw him, he asked for my number.

Really? 

Where do these people come from and how do they find me?